Ask Dr. Mo Love: Fool With A Big Heart |

Ask Dr. Mo Love: Fool With A Big Heart
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October 4th, 2010wc@BGGAsk Dr. Mo Love, Entertainment

Dear Dr. Mo,

I need some serious advice. I have been in an on again off again relationship for about 4yrs. We began with a fairy tale start and I think that’s why I continue to hold on. We have always lived in different states and never lived together. She is a student and I helped her with bills and responsibility to relieve her stress. Anything she needed or wanted, I’ve been there. She’s called me to get her out of trouble(jail)… her kids in trouble(jail)… after her car was taken. I took care of everything. After 4yrs, I have continued to pay these things through infidelity and mistreatment. Only for the first year was she faithful. I have excused the infidelity because of the distance. She met someone and her actions became so distant that she became angry when I would call or totally ignore me. She would and still continues to lie to me about her whereabouts and stuff going on in her life. And still I continued to pay for her every need and want. This girl lives in the town with her and has been around her friends and family. About 6 months ago, I told her that her treatment wasn’t fair to me and that I tried to be her friend, but she wasn’t even a good friend. She asked me for another chance. I asked her to please cut all ties to this girl and be honest about her life. She continues to speak with her and cancels plans with me to go on trips or vacations with her and allows this girl to continue to think she’s her girlfriend… all along she is telling me that she loves me and that she wants to spend her life with me. She tells me that she dreams of me and the future of being with me. She says she knows that she’s messed up and she feels weak and can’t stand the distance, but she loves me. She has been in school this entire time and I pay most of her bills, except her rent. Also, I have spoiled her with the finer things in life and now she expects the Gucci, LV, Tiffany… any of the finer things. I don’t mind, but I’ve read the last article and I am now closing the wallet and saying no. I feel that she doesn’t appreciate me, but sees dollar signs and stability in her unstable world. She has told me that I my unconditional love is amazing because I continue to love her even when she messes up. And I do, but I wonder if that unconditional love is me being a fool. Well, now… she’s still in school and we are farther away…. and she says she wants to move to be with me. I don’t know what to do. I love her and truly love her unconditionally, but she has taken me through hell…. and continues to take me through hell. She has applied to schools here and actually been accepted. She is coming here next week and checking out the city… but because of all the hell I been through… my heart is still big, but I am having doubts. She still talks to the other girl and not sure what else goes on. Has the hell she put me through made me not want to spend a life with her? It’s like my heart has become a slave to the unavailable…! When it was great, it was short, but great… I still hold on to those moments. Have I given her too many chances? What do I do? I am truly a FOOL in LOVE!! Please help me!!! I want to go forward… not backward. I’m too old to be worried about things of this nature, but planning life with someone that wants to be with me… thing is… she’s older! I told her she’s too old to be playing with people’s hearts and being how she is…… I want love and I have a lot of love to give! Please please please please please HELP!!!

Fool with a big heart!

Dear Fool with A Big Heart,

Your are going to need tough skin throughout this advice because I am about to give it to you – straight up no chaser. Sounds like you have been taken for a ride for the past 4 to 5 years. This girl is playing one of the oldest games in the book. She is taking advantage of you in every way. The old Gs call it the “pimp game” and you are the one who is getting pimped. She is exploiting you without a conscious. You have to get out of this immediately if not sooner. I often say this to our readers; you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Excuse me for my candor here but, based on your actions toward this girl you don’t give a damn about yourself. You love this girl more than you love yourself and the love is not reciprocal . Here is what you need to know. She has somehow figure out a weakness in you that she uses to get what she wants out of you. Usually it’s intimacy but in your case it’s not that because you guys live in different geographical locations. Ask yourself, “what am I getting out of this?” If your answer is hurt, anger, lies and deceit, then you are being taken advantage of in the worst way and there is something severely wrong with that. You are being a “Save -A-Ho-Sista” for someone who has a bottomless pit of problems. She is so good at the game. Not only are you getting her out of jail but you are getting her kids out of jail also. I think you get my point here Fool With A Big Heart. You have to do some things differently. First keep your wallet closed, secondly contact your girl and tell her that you will have to discontinue your current arrangement and tell her why. Let her know that you feel used and abused by her and you have made the choice not to allow anyone to make you feel that way. Finally stick to your decisions but only you are in charge of that one. You are in charge of how you feel, no one else should be able to take that from you. I don’t usually do this but there are two books I recommend you read: one is “The Mack Within: The Holly Book Of Game” by Tariq “King Flex” Nasheed, he teaches you about all the games people play especially women to get you to do what they want, and the second one is my book, “50 Secrets- Becoming The Perfect Lesbian Stud” by Wong Cook, this book teaches you how to love yourself first and all the good things that comes along with that such as power of your mind, respect, money and more. You can pick them both up at amazon.com. Please don’t waste another minute in this state, take action now and get your life back.

“Ask Dr. Mo Love” is an advice column for entertainment purposes only. The advice given is that of Wong Cook, a contributor for Black Gay Gossip, public speaker, stud swagger coach, entertainment writer for lesbianlife.about.com and author of “50 Secrets-Becoming The Perfect Lesbian Stud.” You can get Wong Cook’s “50 Secrets” book at Amazon.com or fidelipublishing.com.

Email info@blackgaygossip.com if you would like Dr. Mo Love to address your dilemmas or concerns.

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45 Responses to “Ask Dr. Mo Love: Fool With A Big Heart”

T Dawg October 4th, 2010 at 3:30 pm

Don’t b fooled by her. She’s playing games. In fact you should ask her to pay you the money back for when you got her kids out of jail. Thats taking it a little to far, you feel me?
Toyia October 4th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

I feel awful for Fool In Love. Honey that’s not love in any way,shape or form. Real love doesn’t hurt nor does love break your pockets. Being in a realtionship is give and take,and your “girlfriend” seems to only be taking from you. I hope you take the advice given by Dr.Love and find you someone who will appreciate you and your love,not your wallet!
Lana October 4th, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Damn some women are ice cold. But there are other women who like it obviously.
Fool with a Big Heart October 5th, 2010 at 3:24 am

Thank you Dr. Mo! I will definitely take your advice. I really do care about myself. I love to spoil! I love to love and I guess she has found a weakness that allows me to be a fool. But since this article, I have made a change… We are not even in a pretend relationship anymore. And we are trying to remain friends, but not sure if we will be able to do that. Thanks for the comments! I will be strong! I will have strength! I want someone that appreciates me and loves me! I want someone that will give me love in return! It’s going to be hard, but I know I can do it. I hope that I will find someone that will make my heart smile again! Thanks for all the comments and advice… and Lana… Did not enjoy it… Just wanted to try to make it work and not give up! But Like Keri Hilson sings “Every woman has a breaking point” and I have reached mine!
Renee October 6th, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Good for you fool with a big heart. You deserve so much better. Leave her alone, take this as a lesson learned
Stacey October 7th, 2010 at 4:16 pm

@ Fool with a big heart…
Don’t think that anything is too hard. If your capable of loving someone so unconditionally, you should think that you are able to do the same for yourself. Not only that but I agree with Dr. Love.
When you love yourself so unconditionally, love has no choice but to manifest itself in your life. Wish you well
Bizz October 8th, 2010 at 10:09 am

Why still continue to be her friend? She doesn’t have ANYTHING of worh to offer you, not to mention that she’s a liar AND played the hell outta you all thoe years. You need to COMPLETELY cut her off. She ain’t sh*t. She didn’t care about you as a lover or partner, so she can’t possibly be a friend to you. Let her new chick be her friend.
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rcadia March 7th, 2011 at 3:50 am

I can so relate to FWBH.I was and still could be the same way.There’s a euphoric rush in “saving a ho”,especially when they show appreciation,and it doesn’t matter about the money or the things,you just want that initial rush of what you thought was love.Like chasing a drug high you’ll never get again.In time and much too late,after so much abuse, you finally give in to what your gut was telling you everytime she told you that 3 word lie.And the pain that’s felt when you walk away is as devastating as death because at that moment and many days to follow,you carry this lead bullet around that used to be your heart.I am a shell right now.I’ve lost my trust and am content to live forever alone.And to lighten my drama…if ever again I should fall prey to “Pussy”?!…it WILL be a cat!!!!!!
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Tellitlikeitis June 28th, 2011 at 4:35 am

This Person is a dip ship and she has very low self-esteem.. After “waking up” from such a scandalous, emotionally abusive relationship.. My rage towards this person would have been barely contained.. Because this sociopath’s selfishness caused me to spend 4 plus years if my life in misery.. She doesn’t value you at all.. She most likely talk shut about you behind you back with her lover… The bitch is a old ass crazy bum… ACEPT IT ABD GET COMPLETLY AWAY!! you’ve been warned… Now if somemore shit pop off and ur left hurt, the ONLY PERSON you can blam is YOURSELF!!! geesh
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