-
Ask Dr. Mo Love: LEAP FAST, DON’T LAST
25
September 18th, 2010Ask Dr. Mo Love, Culture, Entertainment
Dear Dr. Mo Love,
I have been talking to someone for about 6 weeks now, and already I feel like I am in love with her. Already I have thoughts of spending the rest of my life with her and the problem is I don’t even know if she feels the same way about me. Every relationship I have ever had with a women has happened fast. I mean we meet one day, sleep together the next, then move in together after a few weeks. My problem is I don’t know how to do it any other way. I have friends who are in the same boat. Why is it that lesbians get into relationships so fast. Is it a fear of losing the person or what? I like this girl and I don’t want to fuck it up this time by getting deeply involved too quick.
Too Quick
Dear Too Quick,
Let me first say that there are lesbian couples who meet one day sleep together the next and remain in a relationship for years; moving fast is an occurrence that seems to be a part of the lesbian lifestyle. Let me just be clear here, this problem exists in both homosexual and heterosexual relationships, however, the Dr. Mo Love column focuses on LGBT relationships. Here is what’s going on. Women are emotional creatures, women can be possessive, jealous, and lets not forget domineering. Often times women have a fear of losing what they think is theirs and will go down fighting for it. Because women are emotional and when two women begin dating their feelings can be all over the place. What women think is passion is merely infatuation and can easily be mistaken for love. So here are a few tips you can use to help you get through the first year of dating the girl you think is the lady of your dreams:
1. Enforce the Steve Harvey’s 3 month rule. According to Harvey, “Ford Motor Company requires employees to work for a 90 day probationary period before they are awarded benefits such as medical and dental insurance, women should treat the first three months with a man as a probationary period and institute a three month rule before having sex with a guy”. So substitute the word “man” and “guy” with “woman“, and the same rule applies. Don’t be too quick to jump into bed with your girl, doing so brings about a different dynamic, feelings get involved then things get out of hand.
2. Let things happen naturally in the relationship. Ekhart Tolle talks about living in the now in his book A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life‘s Purpose. Tolle’s opinion is that you should only live in the present. He teaches us that the present is the past and the future so don’t worry about where the relationship is going, or where it has been for that matter, concentrate on the now, take one day at a time and pay attention to the red flags.
3. While you are getting to know her for those first ninety days be mindful of the amount of money you spend dating her. You should look at it as an investment- the interest you earn will be based on how much you invest and the interest rate… you should equate the interest rate with the quality of person you are dating. Pay attention to that person’s actions when you send flowers, buy an expensive bottle of perfume or take them on a weekend get away. Do they seem grateful? Or, do they seem nonchalant or ungrateful? Pay attention because what you see is going to be the return on your investment. If you notice the ladder of the two, close your wallet, sit back and see how things go. If she seems appreciative take note of that as well but still pace yourself.
4. After the ninety days, your work is not done. Now your friendship goes to another level, yes…friendship. Becoming friends first is the safest way to get to know someone-if by chance you don’t work out as lovers you have built a good foundation for a friendship. Now that you are sleeping together you should look out for any changes in the person. Is she still what you dreamed about? How was the sex, was it good or was it wack? The worst thing you can do is ignore all of these signs.
5. Continue to date and get to know one another for at minimum of 1 year before you move in together. Some experts recommend a minimum of 2 years however in today’s economy many lesbian couples as well as couples across the board are pooling their resources in order to make ends meet.
When you take it slow, it gives you time to enter into something more serious with more certainty. You will never be absolutely sure. There is no scientific way you can actually know whether your relationship will last, but the flip side is – there will be signs to let you know it’s not going to work. DON’T IGNORE THOSE SIGNS!!!! They are not going anywhere. You can’t change a person and furthermore, why should you want to. Get out of it, step off, part ways, say good bye, let it go. Life’s too short to be miserable. Your happiness is much more important. Don’t become a statistic in this game. Remember this the next time you get involved with someone – if you leap fast it wont last, and even if you leap slow, you can still let it go.
“Ask Dr. Mo Love” is an advice column for entertainment purposes only. The advice given is that of Wong Cook, a contributor for Black Gay Gossip, public speaker, stud swagger coach, entertainment writer for lesbianlife.about.com and author of “50 Secrets-Becoming The Perfect Lesbian Stud.” You can get Wong Cook’s “50 Secrets” book at Amazon.com or fidelipublishing.com.
Email info@blackgaygossip.com if you would like Dr. Mo Love to address your dilemmas or concerns.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed! Tags: advice, Ask Dr. Mo Love, black, Culture, Entertainment, gay, gossip, Leap Fast Don't Last
25 Responses to “Ask Dr. Mo Love: LEAP FAST, DON’T LAST”
-
T Dawg
Yeah, I feel yo on da Dr Mo Love, dis shit is crazy. I have spent so much money on this broad and we have only been together for a couple of months and the bitch is ungrateful. I wish I had this information before I spent all of my loot
-
Bri
Very good advice, women tend to want their “needs” met so quickly and when you actually take the time to evaluate…you’re too invested (and usually the investment isn’t paying off, because those “red flags” were ignored.)But there is always next time
<3 B -
Horny Boy
-
Exceptional post. Only just discovered it on Google. Thank you for that helpful information. Continue to keep up the exceptional hard work
-
[...] Source: http://blackgaygossip.com/index.php/2010/09/18/ask-dr-mo-love-leap-fast-dont-last/ [...]
-
Posts do not really express your mood. Your eye is quite sad
-
Yeah, I feel yo on da Dr Mo Love
-
Yeah Post useful
-
The North Face is matchless of individuals names, which be credulous nicely undeclared the seasonal desires apart from ergo have created the wears which could upkeep anyone fiery throughout the biting iciness
-
I am extremely inspired along with your writing talents neatly as with the format to your weblog. Is that this a paid subject or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent high quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice weblog like this one today.
-
I really like this article. I can tell you a lot of knowledge on the topic and writing skills.
-
I think this is among the most vital info for me. And I am glad to read your article. But I want to have the remark on some general things, The website style is perfect, the articles is really nice.
-
Most people come to the idea of making a living from online services through a desire to improve their work/life balance, enhance the quality of their career and free up more time to spend on the things they love, and less at work. However, often there can be some serious misconceptions relating to how easy.
-
year, thanks you, very good
-
They can elevate men from obscurity to national prominence within a week. Soccer Cleats can reward some politicians with national exposure and ignore others. http://www.soccershoesclearance.com/ lzle
-
love is the loss of comfort
-
Excellent post. I run across into your website and can say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your posts.
-
I’m very delighted to discover this web site. I want to express my thanks for this read! I certainly enjoy every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you submit.
-This is first time I have visited here. I run across finding a lot of interesting information in your blog. I think If I have leisure time I’ll come here. -
Year ! She is very nice
-
Thank you about it
-
Thank you for sharing about information.
-
Although the speed could not be exactly estimated, the sledge could not be going at less than forty miles an hour. http://www.soccershoes-us.com/
Lydia
-
A great article. I like it. Thank author.
-
Thank you very much
-
clip hai
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here frequently. I am quite certain I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!
Leave a Reply
Join Black Gay Gossip On:
Write For BGG…
NEED ADVICE??? Ask Dr. Mo Love
WTH? Lace Front Eyebrows?
Check Out An Event In Your City
blogarama.com
Recent Comments